Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
