Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Randomize
