I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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