What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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