Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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