I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
