Texts From Last Night

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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive

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  (571): I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive http://tfl.nu/mms9
  Replies (10) Good night (5261) Bad night (831)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.

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  (859): I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze. http://tfl.nu/hayj
  Replies (17) Good night (753) Bad night (5084)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers

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  (973): i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers http://tfl.nu/mvp5
  Replies (30) Good night (7899) Bad night (1281)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.

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  (224): She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand. http://tfl.nu/cnkx
  Replies (25) Good night (6583) Bad night (625)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.

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  (757): Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity. http://tfl.nu/u9jp
  Replies (8) Good night (1837) Bad night (673)
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  (831): View more from California

  My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover

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  (831): My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover http://tfl.nu/d6nk
  Replies (16) Good night (584) Bad night (1934)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?

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  (614): I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat. (1-614): Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate? http://tfl.nu/mxr5
  Replies (8) Good night (2557) Bad night (428)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.

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  (320): I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years. http://tfl.nu/ge1t
  Replies (2) Good night (985) Bad night (1252)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.

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  (971): He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME. http://tfl.nu/az6l
  Replies (7) Good night (380) Bad night (761)
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  (949): View more from California

  the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?

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  (949): the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real? http://tfl.nu/2sta
  Replies (2) Good night (1660) Bad night (287)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.

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  (803): the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this. http://tfl.nu/qdyt
  Replies (0) Good night (538) Bad night (310)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles

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  (434): After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles http://tfl.nu/5yst
  Replies (6) Good night (834) Bad night (392)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.

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  (614): I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am. http://tfl.nu/znur
  Replies (3) Good night (608) Bad night (247)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.

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  (405): It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy. http://tfl.nu/n84f
  Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (239)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters

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  (971): I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters http://tfl.nu/ncp4
  Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (252)

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