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• (303): View more from Colorado

  am i morally bankrupt?

  (970): View more from Colorado

  no. its just the recession

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted

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• (356): View more from

  her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..

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• 

  19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Shame tastes like burnetts and latex

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated

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