Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
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On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
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We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.