Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.

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  (303): I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight. http://tfl.nu/0aby
  Replies (18) Good night (3946) Bad night (938)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.

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  (919): i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off (617): he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich. http://tfl.nu/ubgv
  Replies (28) Good night (2771) Bad night (839)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.

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  (630): i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween. http://tfl.nu/iqfz
  Replies (56) Good night (6692) Bad night (1021)
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  (916): View more from California

  Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms

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  (916): Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms http://tfl.nu/1qb7
  Replies (27) Good night (12003) Bad night (801)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace

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  (413): My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace http://tfl.nu/tutd
  Replies (10) Good night (1608) Bad night (4474)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.

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  (727): i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina. http://tfl.nu/7vie
  Replies (27) Good night (3618) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend

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  (954): Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend http://tfl.nu/zfzy
  Replies (14) Good night (1032) Bad night (3871)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours

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  (609): my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours http://tfl.nu/c2a1
  Replies (27) Good night (3142) Bad night (1677)
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  (408): View more from California

  Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.

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  (408): Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick. http://tfl.nu/f6ps
  Replies (8) Good night (994) Bad night (2300)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.

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  (479): I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home. http://tfl.nu/yjx8
  Replies (13) Good night (1678) Bad night (686)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.

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  (330): shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon. http://tfl.nu/iapt
  Replies (5) Good night (1377) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.

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  (928): Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating. http://tfl.nu/r7wa
  Replies (6) Good night (629) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.

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  (651): This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline. http://tfl.nu/s47z
  Replies (0) Good night (431) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me

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  (425): Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me http://tfl.nu/l6rg
  Replies (1) Good night (287) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.

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  (317): I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me. http://tfl.nu/crpx
  Replies (2) Good night (532) Bad night (147)

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