How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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