do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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