i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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