The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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