he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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