How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Randomize
