i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
