Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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