Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
should my penis look like a turkey
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
