We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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