google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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