im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
