guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
