Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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