first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize