But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
