You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm really busy with my period
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