What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
