He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
