my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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