I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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