Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
