I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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