direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
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I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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