Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
