I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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