i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
