cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize