We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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