he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
