It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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