normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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