he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize