He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
