i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
