dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
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I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
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Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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