Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize