these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
