I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
