I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
