Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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