At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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