also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
