My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
