So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
