It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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