we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
