elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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