O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
