He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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