Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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