Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
